Doman Parent in Hiding

Originally Published in 2010. But I felt it needed a major update.

You might be a Doman parent…

Do you ever find yourself hiding what your doing with your child from family or friends? Making sure all the word cards and flashcards of the digestive system are put away before company comes over. The pediatrician laughs at you when you tell him your two year old know his letters and sounds of the letters, and knows how to read hundreds of words.

What is a Doman Parent Anyhow?

A Doman Parents or Professional Mother is a parent who follows the teaching of Glenn Doman. His amazing discoveries in child development have helped many special needs children:

  • learn to run when their parents were told they never would even stand on their own two feet.
  • learn to read and do math when other specialist told their parents they were “mentally retarded” and were “unteachable”.
  • Lose their labels such as Autism, ADHD and Developmental Delay
  • most importantly, grow to their full potential

Glenn Doman also created programs for well children. Teaching them how to read, do math, play violin, and speak second and third languages.

So Why is This Not Main Stream?

After I discovered the Doman Method of teaching my son, I made a grave mistake. I assumed everyone would want to do the same thing with their children too!

I soon realized this was not the case. It was actually the complete opposite reaction. People thought it was a terrible idea!

They told me I was Hothousing my son.

I was told he would be bored in school if I taught him to read early.

The best was during some testing I was told my youngest son was “Just Hyperlexic”. The way he said it was like it was a problem. Way to take a strength my son has and turn it into a bad thing!

I’ll never forget when I told my oldest son Wesley’s speech therapist he loved letters and words, and was learning to read. She told me I should be discouraging him from focusing on the words and to get his attention on the pictures. Thankfully Zakari’s Preschool team used his love of letters and words as a tool to help him develop in other areas. But from what I have seen and heard this is rare.

Why Many Doman Parents Go Into Hiding

I was having coffee with a fellow Doman parent. After realizing that other parents did not support what we were doing with our children, we started jokingly calling ourselves the crazies. We didn’t actually think we were crazy, but we knew that was what the rest of the world thought.

While I tend to still be on the more outspoken side when it came to using the Doman Method, my friend went into “hiding”. She knew what she was doing was right for her son, but other families made her feel self-conscious and misguided. She was pushed into the “Doman Parent Closet” so to speak. Which is a crying shame, because she has raised an AMAZING, bright and well adjusted young man. The blood, sweat and tears she poured into him from a young age has paid off a thousand folds. She has so much to share with other parents, but I know to this day she still shies away from sharing her earlier methods.

Its just too bad we are the minority. I wish this style of parenting could be more main stream. Every baby, toddler and child deserves the chance to be exposed to all this wonderful knowledge. Babies don’t want to play with rattles. They want to absorb every bit of information they can get their hands on.

What about children from families with two working parents? Single Parents?

Even as a working or single parent, it is possible. You just have to make sure you are being honest and factual. This method is not drilling math facts in your child head. It is not sitting at a desk working for hours on end. It takes minutes a day of your child’s time. In the end its a great way to spend your time with your children. Nothing makes a child feel more confident with themselves then a parent that believes they are worth it.

All you need are a few minutes during meal time, before bed, waiting to see a doctor, etc. There are so many minutes in a day being wasted. If parents spent a few of those minutes teaching their child, both parent and child would benefit.

Benefits of Teaching Your Children Before They Are Old Enough To Go To School

  • Strengthen the bond between parent and child
  • Build your child’s self confidence
  • School proof your child
  • Establish a love of learning

I can only image where my sons would be right now if I hadn’t been sitting alone at work one day while everyone was away at conference. while I was there “manning the phones.”

Well you can image one can only stare at a phone and wait for it to ring for so long. So I was looking how to educate small children and I fell upon Glenn Doman’s site. You can read more about this in my post How Glenn Doman Changed How I Parent.

Dealing With Rejection

While I in Philadelphia learning about the Doman Method, one lecture lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders.

Glenn Doman talked about how he would waste so much time trying to convince skeptics that this method worked. He soon realized that those who wanted to understand you will. The others would never understand. It was best for him to focus his time and energy on the people who wanted it, instead of trying to force the non believers into agreeing with him.

So he decided he would tell people once. If they didn’t agree, he saved his breath and didn’t try to convince them. This saved his valuable and limited time for those who truly wanted the information. Those were the people he could help.

So I tell them once…

I now realize people are different places in their lives. Everyone is programmed differently. Some parents are fighters, others are comfortable with the way things are. Sadly some parents are just not motivated enough to put the energy and time into research and created a program for their child. They are not willing to experience a tiny bit of discomfort for a large pay out. For example tweaking a child’s diet, or setting boundaries with a child.

YOU CANNOT SAVE THOSE PEOPLE… They are generally not bad people. Lead by example. One day they may come to realize your not so crazy.

My Most Recent Story of Rejections

A good friend of mine, who I have shared what we are doing with Zakari called me one day. She wanted me to share with her friend about what we were doing.

Over the years I have been more then willing to share our experiences with people. But as we have become more and more involved with the Doman Method, homeschooling, biomedical testing, supplements, etc, my time has become more limited.

I had a bad feeling this was not going to go the way my friend hoped. But reluctantly I decided to have a Facebook Messager Conversation with this woman. I told my friend that it was my work night and I had a lot to focus on but she could set us up the next day.

The next morning my friend opened up a group message and her friend asked me what we did with Zakari. I just dumped it all out as I was not interested in beating around the bush. I gave a summary of diet, supplements, biomedical testing, a tiny bit about programs we run though.

Of course what I expected happened. She thanked me for my time, but didn’t feel what I had said was “for them”.

How I Handled This Differently Then I Did in the Past

Instead of trying to talk her into it, or getting defensive and defending what we were doing, I wished her luck and left the group. I didn’t take it personally. In the past I would have.

My friend called me right away shocked. She apologized profusely. I was in no way upset at my friend. She has a kind heart and wanted to help. I told her that sadly when it comes to the journey of helping a child with disabilities, people are not willing to think outside of the box.

My blood was boiling that this woman did not want to go to all ends of the earth to help her child, but I had to let it go. Not my monkey, not my circus.

Why People Rejects the Doman Method of Teaching Children to Read

There are many reasons why parents don’t believe in teaching their young child to read, such as they:

  • don’t want to put in the effort
  • do not want to fail
  • don’t believe its possible
  • believe its detrimental
  • don’t understand its not hothousing, and that our children still have lots of free time

In the end it is not my job to tell other parents what to do with their children. We each have to sort that out for ourselves. I just share our journey here on my blog. People can take it or leave it. My goal is that if I can help one family by sharing our family’s story, it is time well spent!

Who I Love To Share Our Story With

My favorite people to talk to are the ones who are out seeking the help themselves. The parent’s who are HUNGRY for a solution. They are self motivated parent that wants answers. They are open minded and willing to learn. Of course I don’t expect every parent I cross to do exactly what I do. All of your journey’s are going to be unique. I learn so much for other mom’s that don’t use the Doman Method, or make different lifestyle changes. I think we all have something to offer each other.

How do you handle the skeptics? Do you hide what you do with your kids to just avoid the conversation?

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One Response to Doman Parent in Hiding

  1. Marta says:

    Hi Waterdreamer!

    “Ever find yourself hiding what your doing with your child?”
    Honestly NEVER! I’m really grateful that there is a way to get most potential from our babies. Why not to give them the easy start and be above the average? I always response to people what I’m doing when they ask me about my job. What I hear is always big OOOOOOoooo! Like “Oo you are the crazy one..” I know that most people don’t know too much about early learning and baby’s brain development so I know how to make a conversation with great arguments. But they never continue conversation!!!
    You are the lucky one having a Doman friend.
    That’s what I’m missing over here!

    You have a great blog Doman Mama!

    What the pediatrician knows about early learning anyway 😉

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