When The World Changes…

COVID 19…

I think its safe to say that there are not many people who have not been affected by the Coronavirus. With schools closed, parents working from home, we are all trying to establish a new normal in all this craziness.

History In the Making…

Over the last few weeks I keep telling my children that they are living in a time that their children will read about in their history books.

While we are social distancing, my home daycare is still open. We are considered an essential service. Thankfully the parents that can keep their children home are doing so, and I’m doing my best to help support and care for the children that are left. However these kiddos are sad. They miss their grandparents, cousins, friends.

Our COVID 19 Fiasco

On the evening of March 13th, Zakari developed of course… a cough and a fever. Doctors office was closed, and no clinic would see us. Sometimes I need a video to tell my story, so click in the video above to hear about our 4 hours in an isolation room at Children’s Hospital.

I’m Not OK… Is that OK?

I feel like I should be using this time to “grab the bull by the horns” and catch up on things. But I’m going to be completely honest and transparent… I can’t. I’m frozen. Day after day I feel like an elephant is setting on my chest. I try breathing, mediating, breathing some more, etc. But its not cutting it.

Last week I came home from the grocery store, and I ate 1/3 a bag off cookies. Before all this I was a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. I stopped myself and thought “Why am I doing this?”. I realized that I was stress eating.

Retail Therapy

Going to the grocery store was something I use to love doing before COVID 19. Now I feel like I’m risking my life.

For some reason, wandering around and browsing in a store usually calms me. I remember when my Granny died on New Years Eve 2007. After I found out I packed up 2 year old Wesley, and we wandered around Walmart. But of course because it was a holiday, they would be closing early that night.

I remember wishing that I could just stay in there a little longer and numb my emotions by wandering up and down the aisles. But finally when the voice on the intercom announce “Attention Walmart Shoppers, the time is now 5:55pm, and your local Walmart will be closing in 5 mins. Please take your final purchases up to the front. Your local Walmart will be reopening at 7am on January 2nd. Have a great night.”

I remember feeling so down. That was my outlet and it wasn’t available to me.

Limited Outlets

The same thing is happening now. My outlet usually is on Tuesday nights going Weight Watchers, then spending the rest of the evening sipping Coke Zero at McDonald’s working on whatever project I have going.

Now Tuesday nights are attending my Weight Watchers meetings via zoom, then trying to work on projects hiding in the basement. While I’m off duty these nights, not being able to get out of the house is weighing down on me.

So for now, I’m trying to be kind to myself. If we are having a good day, I try and get as much Doman programs done with my son as possible. If I’m having a bad day, we do the bare minimum or nothing at all.

During this time, we are all experiencing trauma. So on a bad day, if I try to focus on getting all the therapy and school done, Zakari will feel it. He will pick up on my shakey vibes and he will be affected. It will actually be worse then doing no school or therapy at all.

So what do I do when I’m in a bad place?

If I can, I have been taking Z outside in the backyard. I’ve been letting him jump in puddles and just burn as much energy off as possible. This has been helping so much. I’ve actually invested in a Rain Suit Muddy Buddy Waterproof Coverall. Our local Once Upon a Child sells them. So I ordered it online, and I’ll pick it up curb side on Thursday.

While Z is having his best life in the puddles, I put my nose into a book and read. To me that is more constructive then pacing and stress eating.

Blessings in the Storm

One thing I know is I’m enjoying all the extra time I’m getting with Wesley. On March 13th, they announced that schools would be closing for 3 weeks starting March 23rd. After this announcement I just could not in good conscience send him to school for a whole week before the shut down.

So on March 16th, I let him go back to school one last time. He was on strict instructions to clean out his locker and contact his teachers for how to keep up with his studies, and to be home by lunch. That day our province only had 6 cases, and no community spread. So this still felt safe to me.

But during these last 4 weeks or so with him at home, I’ve really enjoyed having him here. He’s had a quiet environment to do his school work, and is thriving. He’s also had a lot of time to pursue his interests.

Heroes Among Us

I am so grateful to all the people working in grocery stores, making sure my family is fed. To the medical staff who are preparing to help the sick when they need it. And to all the other essential workers keeping this province going.

I also think we are all heroes in our own sense. Stay home to flatten the curve. Checking in with other family members when we go to the store and seeing if you can save them the trip because your already out.

What We Are Doing To Try & Keep Some Normalcy

  • We delivered Zakari’s cousin’s birthday gift on her step. It was important to me that she get it on his birthday seeing her birthday parties were canceled. At 6 this can feel like the end of the world.
  • I’m picking up some pickerel(walleye) curbside from a local fish shop and we are having a Good Friday fish fry. I will drop some off at my dad’s so he can have some too.
  • Planning on cooking an Easter dinner this weekend, and will be delivering a turkey dinner meal to some family members.
  • We are still going to the chiropractor once a week. Thankfully our chiropractor is allowed to continue seeing patients who will suffer from not having regular visits. Since these appointments are keeping Zakari with his ear infections and pain, we can continue going.
  • Even though our local homeschool conference was canceled, I am able to attend a HUGE online conference over the next few weeks. Safely in my home, via the world wide web.

What Changes Are Happening In Our Household?

Since this is history in the making, I want to log some thing that have been happening locally.

  • Schools suspending March 13th the education minister announced that Kindergarten to Grade 12 classes would be closed for a three-week period, beginning on March 23.
  • March 31st Schools suspended indefinitely.
  • I am letting Wesley sleep in. I’m working with Zakari and my daycare kids in the morning, and helping Wesley in the afternoon. But as the time goes on he is coming more of a self learner. I’m going to share more how homeschooling looks with our teenagers home in another post.

In Short:

Its OK to be utilizing this time to get all the things around you house done.

It is also OK to not be OK right now.

How are you and your family holding up right now? Leave me a message in the comments below.

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